dateline or shuld i say...
DEADLINES...are wildly playing in ma mind.i did everything i could...sacrifice everything i use to do on weekends juz to fin it up.am i workin too hard?or shuld i b workin too hard?i cnt ans those qns.i thnk i nid to work very damn freakin hard juz to get a pl in POLY.no invitation frm ma Olevel's result...cuz its sooo very bad.n its all bcuz of tis...i felt of inferior of everyone.i felt dat everyone;s better den me...esp ma bestfren.i feel dat im too awkward even 2b frens wif her...since im such a failure.
haiz...maybe..ma book of life has written tis esp for me.im not giving up...i love ma life...i dunwanna commit suicide...i love ppl whu loves me...n i noe if i go away...i will indirectly disppoint dem.so ill stay...ill cont wif wads ahead of me.drive for wad i want...
i thank msn as onli in this way i cn let out ma feelings to whueva i feel im not too satisfied wif.i wun b callin dem forshure...cuz i noe things will get worst.the word SORRY were often heard frm me wen im quarellin wif sumone even if im not at fault.i hate to make things big..i hate to lose ppl i love...n i wuneva imagine maself losing dem.
Ive juz let maself out to bestfren.same goes to her.i noe fta all tis lettin out session..both of us will feel awkward wif each other...but wads frenship wifout squabbles?onli tis way we will understand each other better.i felt relieved i let maself out to bestfren.i felt like a burden off ma shoulder...n yet...im angry at her bcuz i miss mitting her.
but den...life has change.she has comitments...i do to.so...time n mittings has bn adjust to our bz schedule.
n yet....everynite phone calls has change to phonecalls made to individual boyfrens.
i admit...boyfrens play an important part...dey r always wif us MOST of the time..but dat doesnt mean...ppl whu haf bn der for u all dis while shuld b put aside.i made mistake.sumtimes i admit i spent most of ma time wif hotsytotsy...thats bcuz...his da onli...bf...fren...n bestfren...to me at da moment bestfren is not der.its different i noe...i cnt share wif him things i share wif ma bestfren.its diffrent...VERY...
no matter how crooked our frenship journey will b....ill stay der n overcome it...cuz i dunwan to lose a bestfren...she cn never b replace by animore......
she noes me inside out...
she tells me even if ders sumthing on ma teeth..
she sees me in ma worst hairdo..
she sees me in ma 'out-of-bed-' look...
she tells me her darkest secrets
she tells me whether shes still a virgin or not...
she knows ma fav color..
she noes ma family...
she noes how i looked like wen i was younger...
she noes how childish n emo i cn get
she heard me wailing like a baby on the phone...
I ask her ma insecurities..the onli missing thing is....
we dun spent da time...like having slumber nites at eachother places...
i hope it will happen soon...
like goin overseas?
so tell me?would u ppl wanna lose the greatest human being whose der for u all along?................................
I love you bestfren...i noe tis sounds corny...but i mean it.. :)
GDnyte readers...treasure ppl whus ard you before ure too late to realise dat dey r not der animore................
