bittersweet....boring...N alil fun.
all i shuld describe of ma hols.
Nyways nab..i went to KL...i tot it wasnt important for me to tell u..since u wuldnt care niways...for atleast...i make an effort to inform u....
Im sorrie i ddint get ya anithing...I didnt haf ani dough wifme.
Taking the train to KL was long n tiring...
cnt sleep well...
i didnt shop enuf..mama's not giving lotsa dough to me...
Checked in at Crown princess.fine place..i shuld say...
didnt even make use of the facilities..was not in a gd mood.
i went for hols to get away from SG...but den...ma mood never changed der...
Still back to the same thing...
Niways nab..im happy u got a job...n mit new frens... :)
dunworry abt the treat..juz fergot bt it...u cn spend ya hard earned money on sumthing else.
i wonder y sum ppl cn get frens so easily..........one moment...dey mit...another.dey became close frens...
n wen things started to turn sour.....dey turn to other ppl n talk dirt bt that sumone.....
n wen things got back as normal...dey fergot bt the particular person dey wen to sought advice...
y muz life b so unfair?
But den...im tryin hard not to bother much bt all these things.It wun make me feel gd...but much worse.
Even if i cry a river....do dey bother?
Sch starting to get alil cramped up..here n der...
Got ma hands on Dreamweaver...
Dyed ma hair again...cut it short...
bought Blythe...n the COACH
Longing for a new hp...n tops...
Longing to be love...n care for......
Hated to be taken advantage wen needed.....
sickening com..i was happily bloggin n it disappeared n now ive to do it all over again.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY ABAH!I LOVE U! for being such a caring dad...very protective of me...im 20 n still treats me a baby...
didnt get him anithing tho this year.Kocek udah koyak...hehe
Went out wif hotsytotsy yest.Its nice to go out but wen ya heart is not der...everything feels sooo wrong...
mitup mr giler a.k.a andy....at far east for dinner...den took a long busride home...super gd.. ;)
the scar on ma stomach is still visible...n it freaks me out everyday juz lookin at it.first thing first..i dunno how it appeared der...
i didnt remember scratching ma tummy..or accidentally rub against a zipper...hmmm....
Hotsytotsy got freaked out too lookin at it.n he kept sayin i was stooopidly under a black spell..haha...its kinda stooopid...but i cnt help but deny the fact...
I feel bad tagging at bestfren's...but atleast i nid her to noe how i fuckin feel.i cnt simply shead all this tears n yet noone noes how fuckin sad i am....
but den..........ill wait patiently how long this things will go on...........
Im stuck at home on a bloody fri!Thanx Hotsytotsy....im enuff of quarelling wifya..over sumthing stoopid!
i shall keep quiet...n will try not to confide to anione cuz dey juz makes me feel more worst!thanx peeps!
im still thinking..hard...i wan to get away frm all this.
But i cnt escape....i cnt run away juz like dat.......
wad shuld i do?!
Sit n wait for sumthing more worst to happened to me?maybe.....
whrs ma bestfren wen i needed her?
gone?bz?
maybe.........
oh no..i guess...shes juz so bored to tok to me...cuz im gonna ramble the same old stuffs again n again...right buddy?
u make a gd choice by leavin me dis way...
"How To Deal"
Sometimes a man has to choose
And do something he doesn't wanna do
Do I live my life with you as my wife
Or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dream
I gotta do this for me
Cuz if I don't I'll probably regret it
But if I do I'll probably regret it
How do I cope
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you
It's killing me to know
That your heart's with me
But you're with him cause I chose
To be in this industry
Money, shows, and hoes come along with luxury and pain
Is all you see when you think about it
But this is the life that I was given
So I have to live it to the fullest
But how do I deal in the meantime without you
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you
im very emo...so bear wif me....
at the same time...im lookin forward to a trip wif ma fam.n im gonna cabut skul...yippey!
u people muz b wondering wher ive been to.Not updating ma blog...hehe...
im realli M.I.A
i juz wan to b alone.alone frm everyone....i dun think i nid to tell everyone bt ma prob...cuz noone came to help!!
this hols is juz so bad for me.alotta things happened....n as a normal human being..i cnt escape frm all this.
Maybe its all god's test.But den...it hurts sooo much...
n especially...wen u nid sum,one close to u...n he/she is not der...
Cried maself to sleep...nid a listening ear...but all i get was the irritatyn tone of voice.thanx...but no thanx for ya time.
Stuck at home..Moods destryoed by ma own feelings.books occupy ma time..
People come to me wen dey nid me.Promise me things dat they nvr meant to...n say it juz for the sake of sayin it to make others thinks nice of dem.
Y do all this ppl still exist??!!
Y cnt anibody be so honest wif themselves....?
ymuz this people i love ran away n hide demselves wen im in need?
Y muz all this people change juz bcuz someone else came into their lives?
N y muz i be soo nice to dem still after they spit out at me?
Y cnt i juz say...Get away bitch....n dun eva come into ma life?
YYYYYYY????????
cuz i juz dun haf the heart to treat this people whom i love soo much so badly...
but y...do i get this in return?
But wadeva it is....im prayin hard to get this over n move on wif life...cuz life is sooo precious...n i cnt afford to waste it nomore.
If u people outder wanna treatme dis way...ive nothing to say....juz one werd...
I dun fuckin care....
Its me again....fta a long break from ma world of laziness.
Alotta things happened...gd n bad..
I desperately need to cut down on ma weight.im growing...haha..n its gettin sick..
Went out with aunt..to get uncle's stuffs...for his wedding...n metup wif hotsytotsy n elz for lunch.since i cnt eat chicken...im juz watching both of them much on those nice ayam penyet...hmmmmm....:(
Rite fta dat..met up wif fin..and andy...surprisingly..andy brought a gal wif him.haha..chillout at bk liat.Laffs n tok cock.
Then...met up wif narny to get her beads...n it cost her 44bucks...!poor gal..
Ma legs got so tired...that i felt ma knees shaking...damn..made our way hm after dat.
oh yah....
happy 16th monthsary Hotsytotsy...May our relationship move smoothly...insyallahRoza...im kinda disappointed wif ya decision...but i hope u wun get hurt again...
